Who Has The Time?

Everyone I know has one thing in common.  They all complain that they have no time

I will admit that time is a precious commodity in today's society, but I would also say that many of the issues we have with time in our personal lives are things that we bring onto ourselves.

Of course, between working, raising children, and running a household, most adults are busy creatures.  But those are the basics.  Most of us go so much further with activities that are not required for maintaining our life styles that we really only bring the time management issue on ourselves.

For example, I work two part time jobs.  I have a six year old daughter.  I maintain my own residence.
The basics right?

But then, I go to school full time.  I am homeschooling my daughter.  I am the chapter treasurer of the ACLU at my college.  I do volunteer work.  I write this blog.  I have pen pals via email.  I sell on ebay, etsy and amazon.  I visit friends and family  regularly.  I have a facebook page.  I watch movies.  I play with my daughter as well as a thousand other things a day. 

So whats my point?

Everyone says they have no time.  Really what they mean is that they have filled all the hours in the day with things that they want to do and things they need to do and can't find time to do more.  Everyone is busy, but try to make time for personal, real, one on one, face to face interaction with live bodied people as often a possible.  If friends as you for drinks don't say no so you can stay home and do the dishes and vacuum and check your facebook to be jealous of all the awesome status updates they are posting while you have dishpan hands.  Go out and do it too!  The dished will be there tomorrow.  Live your life.  You'll be grateful in the long run.

Who Cares?

It is funny how in certain situations, the people that you least expect to hear from will be there for you and those that you are waiting for, may be no where to be found.  You see, it's not distance or time that makes people close, but depth of conversation and emotion. 

As most people that know me have probably already learned, I was into the hospital for an emergency surgery on Sunday night.  What surprised me most is who I heard from during my two days in the hospital. 

In that time, I was wished well by childhood friends that I haven't seen or heard from in years.  Thoughts of me were sent out from men and women I went to high school with and have not had contact with since.  I had some visitors that I expected and some that I expected didn't show.  Family from out of state called.  Friends came long distances just to let me know they were there and they cared for me.  It was a surreal experience. 

Here is what it made me see.  It doesn't matter how often you speak with someone, what the history is between you, whether they are near of far, what your work schedules are, who you see regularly, who you are dating, who you love or how you know them; some people will care for you no matter the situation and some will not.

Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely fortunate and grateful that so many of you were concerned and sent your thoughts and prayers my way.  I was also a bit disappointed that there were people I had hoped to hear from, and did not.  But it shows every one's true colors.  Life is full of events that make you see how those in your life see you.

Be grateful for those that care whether or not it is expected and accept that whether it is because of some great kindness you once showed them, a deep relationship you once shared or a simple act that kept you in their heart, you are not alone.

25 Things I Have Learned

People say that you should learn something new everyday.  I believe that we all learn an insurmountable amount of important lessons each day that we may not even realize.  These are things that may teach a moral, draw out generalities or sift through the sand to make the bigger life picture clear.  Most days, these moments probably pass you by without you ever taking into consideration the impact they have made on the way you see and live your life.

Today, I want to share a project inspired by my friends, family, and the wonderful Ed Ackerman.  Any of you that have had the privilege of taking Ed's feature writing course will know this one well.

I will be sharing 25 things that I have learned this week.  Here we go.

1. A kiss is never 'just a kiss'.
2. Time always speeds by when you are enjoying the experience.
3. Connecting with strangers is often as simple as a smile.
4. Intense situations never play out as good or as bad as you imagined. 
5. Distance is nothing in a deep rooted friendship.
6. Love takes many forms and changes many times through the years.
7. There is never a dull moment.
8. The sound of the rain pattering on the deck on a dreary day makes staying inside a treat.
9. Take time to sit back and enjoy the view.
10. People often see you far differently than you see yourself.
11. I blush. A lot.
12. The three year old will repeat 'goddamn it' every time you say it.
13. It is sometimes harder to be honest with yourself, than it is to be honest with those around you.
14. The most important people in our lives are often the ones we have hurt the most.
15. I look great in orange.
16. When you are arguing with someone, all the music on the radio seems to speak their point.
17. The answer that makes the child stop asking 'why' is 'y is a crooked letter'.
18. Age is often an irrelevant number that cannot be used to define how a person will behave.
19. Certain words are almost taboo in adult life, such as date, love, and affair.
20. Desperation and poor decision making skills go hand in hand.
21. I have tolerance in abundance and patience in short supply.
22. Everything is open to interpretation.
23. A simple soft caress of the cheek can carry a message faster and better than words.
24. It all works out the way it is supposed to.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...

25. I will survive. :)

What Lies Inside

There are decisions in every ones life that require a strenuous amount of deliberation and emotion to determine the proper choice has been made.  For some of these decisions, one may seek the counsel of friends, family or even professionals before deciding what will be right for them.  But in the end, the only person qualified t make the decision about what is right for them is in fact them. 

Sure, it is nice to feel as though you have backup, even if it is silent third party backup, with absolutely no stake in the decision; but once you choose the path to steer your ship of life to, you ride the wave alone.

I believe that is what scares people the most.  You seek the opinions of those close to you in order to convince yourself that once you take the leap into this life altering decision, that they will ride this wave by your side.  Despite the fact that it will more than likely not change a thing for them, you take comfort in knowing whether or not they support the choice you have made. 

After you have shared your thoughts and feelings about your dilemma and they have voiced their opinions, you walk away glad that you shared, but no more decided than you were prior to the conversation. 

This is because all you ever really needed to make the decision to take that job, leave that relationship, make that move, or marry that boy was inside you all along. 

No one knows what is better for you than you.  No one knows your dreams, your desires, or your true feelings better than you can know them yourself.  So it all comes down to you.  Do you have it?  I think it is there in all of us.  It may take some time to find once in a while, but it is ever present, waiting to show the world the beautiful person within.  Go for it, and life will always be better than yesterday.

As One Door Closes

Sometimes in life, though we may not always like it, things come to an end.  Now I'm not talking about the end of a favorite TV or movie series, or the end of a really intense game of ping pong.  I am talking about serious life situations.  Things like opportunities, jobs and even relationships; and although it may seem unbearable at the time, life has a way of working it out.

It comes down to that old saying "As one door closes, another always opens."

But what happens when your doors overlap?

What happens when one of the doors is defective, broken, refuses to shut and stay so, but a door you had hoped and wish would open does?

Scenario:

You are with a woman for several years and you have known for some time that the relationship was no longer fulfilling for you.  You have tried many times to get her to leave, and have tried to leave yourself, but because of your past together, and her on going feelings for you, you always end up being there when she is down.  She doesn't want to let go, and you don't want her to be hurt when she is.

BUT

You met a girl who was all of the things you had imagined your perfect mate to be.  She is funny, witty, intelligent, hard working and beautiful in every way you had imagined her to be.  You almost want there to be something wrong with her so that you don't feel so out of place around her.  You wait for months, not saying a word about your interest in her because of the woman that won't let go.  But one day she asks you out for drinks.  What do you do?

The doors have over lapped.

You, of course don't want the drama from the old relationship to taint the possibilities of a new one.
You want to jump on the opportunity to see the new woman.
You are in romantic limbo.

Naturally, you are torn by the precarious situation in which you are finding yourself.  However, there is only one answer.

Though it may not be the easy decision, you must let the first girl go.  By staying with her when your heart is not committed, you would be hurting her far more.  DON'T BE THE CHEATER! (speaking from experience, they never come out on top.)  Find a way to sever the cord and start living your life in a way that is true to both of you.  Sounds simple right?  Just hope you never have to try it.

When life opens a door for you, there is a reason greater than you know at the time. 


"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls."
Joseph Campbell