Thinking Outside The Megan

There is a man I look up to, and not because I'm only five feet tall.

I look up to him because he is what I refer to as my "life coach".  No matter how I am feeling, no matter my situation, he always has the right words.   He has the uncanny ability to make me look on the bright side.  He is always polite, friendly and good for conversation.  He is always on the move and keeps me motivated to do the same.

So, for me to think of him ever not wanting to be that person caught me by surprise.  

It makes me think of my world differently.  I get so caught up in the stress in my own life, that I often don't stop to think of others and what they may be going through.  

We all have those days when we say things like "I don't need attitude from you today".  We project the fact that we are frazzled on others and expect them to change their behavior to accommodate our moods. No one ever stops to think that perhaps the reason the cashier at Walmart is giving you attitude could be because she is also having that kind of day.  Sometimes we can't help but be completely self involved. 

I never realized that the one person I view as awesome in every way, might have days that he was so overwhelmed that he wanted to be someone else.  Then he shared something profound with me.  He said "Sometimes I wish I wasn't the me I created."  

For those of you who may not understand that, let me elaborate.  What he meant was, he is the person that made all of these commitments.  He put himself in these situations requiring his attention and time, and so the only person he has to blame is himself.  Not that he was angry or regretful about who he was, just that, at times, he wishes he hadn't set the bar quite as high for himself.

It made me step outside the box-o-Megan and see beyond myself.  I may be stressed, but this time of year so is just about everyone else.  And if I am overwhelmed with the commitments I have made, tough.  I need to learn to run with it.  Yet another lesson I learned from a man I admire greatly.  

So the next time you are having a really hard day, stop and think about those around you.  It doesn't really matter where you are, chances are that someone is feeling the exact same way.  If that doesn't make you feel better, you and the other stressed party could always take out your stress with a hardcore game of rock-em' sock-em' robots.

My Autobiography In 6 Words

Created something beautiful.  Named it Evelyn.


Still in progress.  Check back soon.


Striving for perfection.  Meanwhile, finding life.


Meaning well.  Being misunderstood often.


Smiling through the clouds and storms.


Found that writing dried my tears.


Tried and failed but still prevailed.


I lived my life my way.

Dead Fish

Dead Fish

He was just lying on the clear sandy beach around sunset.   He had appeared out of nowhere, apparently swept in by the rising evening tide.  But that is the point of the adage.  “Even dead fish can swim with the current.”  And this fish had reached the end of the line. 
This vacation had been rocky before it started as had the last year.  I realized staring down at this giant dead fish that my life had been floating along with the current for some time and I too felt like this beach would be the end of that journey.

What the photo doesn’t show is that something had begun to eat at this animal.  It was difficult to spot, but what had looked like a whole fish at first, turned out to be hollow.  I too was hollow.  Not physically of course, but the stress of what was missing made me different.  The lack of communication, compassion, unity and appreciation between myself and the family I brought with me on this trip made me feel like I was a shell of what I once was floating on a current to a distant shore. 

I saw this carcass as a sign of ending, but also as a sign that something new was about to begin.  I looked into its lifeless eyes and I decided to start over.  I may not be able to change the way my family communicated or treated one another, but I can change the way I responded to it.  I cut ties and mended others.  I basked in my grandmothers company.  I never know how many more times I will be able to say that.  I bonded with my daughter and I blocked out all the negativity brought on by those around me.  I refused to be in the company of the miserable.   I would not be the hollow fish in the current.

As the sun set, I continued to walk down the beach, leaving the fish behind me.  In the months to follow, I would rearrange my life.  I would not end up like the drum fish on the beach.  I learned the lesson.  Always forward, never with the tide.