Writing For Me

I have two quotes on writing that I feel speak to me as a writer. Both are a bit different but, both express my own thoughts and feelings towards my style.

“What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window.” ~Burton Rascoe

The first, though a bit sexist and dated is still true, I think for any writer. I know for myself, I am always writing. I will hear something on the radio on my way home, or see things, and I log it away for later, or I break out a recorder or my phone and take notes for things I will write at a later date.

I feel like I am always writing. Everything I see, hear and experience goes into my writing. To someone that doesn’t write, staring out the window may seem like doing nothing, but to a writer, the wheels are turning. To me, it shows that writing is an endless passion and not simply a task that one can sit down start and complete like making dinner or watching a movie.

The second is something that I think, speaks about language and the human condition that is a core part of writing. It is often the purpose of writing.

“Words are but the vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links, they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes.” ~Theodore Dreiser, 1900

We can say and write thousands of words and never quite capture the essence of feeling behind what we are trying to say. For example, the words ‘I’m sorry’y never seem to fully express the guilt, shame or sadness. They are just words. The writer’s job it so get as close to that feeling using the tools before us.

Together, these two quotes express many of my own feelings towards writing. It is ongoing and mysterious, as well as, challenging.

Time Flies

My daughter turned seven yesterday.

I know it doesn't seem to be life changing in any way.  A seventh birthday doesn't move the earth.  But from my perspective a seventh birthday means so much more.

Evelyn turning seven means I am 26 years old, on my way to 27.  It means that all the time I thought I had to get my life in order after she was born, but before she was old enough to remember is GONE.

It means I am the adult, still in college, not in a career, don't own a house, and still drive a crappy car that I never know is going to start again once I turn it off.

It means that time went faster than I had planned. 

I intended to finish school and buy a home for Evelyn to grow in before she could remember being anywhere but home.  It didn't work that way. 

Time flew by.  I am grateful for what I have, but I feel like at this stage in my life I could have and should have accomplished so much more.  Not only for myself but for my daughter. 

I still look at myself like one of the kids.  I'm not sure if that ever changes.  But it is strange to think that I am the appropriate age to be 'all grown up'.  You know what I mean.  My girl tells me all the time what she wants to be when she grows up.  I still think that way myself, but I am grown up.  My peers are finished with college, married, home owners, and in careers.  I am at that age already. 

On the other hand, my daughter turning seven also means that I have been blessed with seven wonderful years of snuggles, betimes, games, runny noses, snow days, birthday parties, holidays, story times, tears and smiles. 

And if seven more years of all of that, felt like it were here tomorrow, and I had nothing else to show for that seven years, I would take it in a heartbeat. 

So what is the moral of the story?

Time flies.  Enjoy every second. 

Small Stuff You Can Sweat

Often, we become so swept up in the activities that keep us on the run everyday, that we become angry or bitter towards the experiences we don't have time for.

We slowly become the doctors appointments, the drive to work and the dinners on the run.  We all have days when the people in our lives try our patience. Everyone has days when they snap at their children or spouse without meaning to. There are days we all feel frustrated with the idea of running to the grocery store or driving home in traffic.


Some of us handle it better than others.  Jane may take a hot shower after work.  Johnny may kick the cat.  Not every approach is a good one.

The point is, we lose sight of the wonderful things we should be appreciating. Of course there are the majors, like a home or your health. Then there are the smaller things we often overlook or take for granted. These are the everyday occurrences that warm our hearts or bring an unexpected smile to our faces.

Some of mine are the moments when my daughter runs from the bus stairs into my

arms. It is the smile of a stranger in the market and a friendly hello, or when the sun strikes my cheek on a breezy afternoon when I can hear the crisp leaves scattering on the pavement. I even still bask in my mother telling me she loves me.

Though these moments are short lived, they are what makes the mundane activities of everyday extraordinary.

Take some time to see what small acts warm your heart and bring a smile to your face. It may be the cute cashier at the convenient store smiling her flirty smile at you.  It may be the few quite moments you spend in bed each evening before falling to sleep.

The significance of their insignificance may surprise you.

Is this love?

At best, the dreaded "L" word musters a deep well of emotion dating back to our early teen years.

Everyone can remember their first love. Maybe you were in first grade, chasing one another on the playground. Maybe you were in middle school, leaving notes in her locker. Or maybe you made it to high school and you both thought you would be together forever.

For those of you that made it, congrats! But for most of us, we went through "love" and loss.

And that part is what makes love so hard. The loss is why so many of us are afraid to open up or admit that we may love another. It is why we shy away from the word altogether.

But how do you know if you are in love?

Well, I don't have that answer, but I have some anecdotes that may help.

1. Someone once told me that falling in love is a fleeting emotion, but being in love is a conscious decision. I don't know if this is true but it has worked through the ages.

Men and women would marry as complete strangers generations ago, and they would make the decision to learn to love the other.

Of course, divorce wasn't an option either. So let's move ahead.

2. I have found that being in love is different than loving someone.

I love my mother, best friend, and neighbor, but I am not in love with any of them. Being in love is different. It creates an unexplainable bond. It is the very nature of this bond that makes love so hard to define.

3. Love comes in kinds.

And no two are the same. If it works for you, don't be ashamed of what you and your partner have. While you are busy thinking your relationship isn't as good as so-and-so's, they are probably thinking the same about you.

4. It is hard to walk away from.

No matter how hard you may try, real love doesn't ever end. So it stands to reason that the real thing is hard to walk away from. Even when doing so may put you in a better situation.

Regardless of your particular love beliefs, one thing is for certain; love is powerful and encompassing. Be open but be cautious. The loss is the enemy not the love.