Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Accepting the Unacceptable
PLOT TWIST!
Your mother has decided to go off of dialysis and will essentially be ending her life by doing so. What do you say when she informs you of her decision?
After almost 30 years of marriage, your parents have just told you they are filing for divorce. What do you do?
Your baby sister is pregnant by a man she barley knows who is twice her age. How do you react when she breaks the news?
Everyone experiences moments in life where news hits them in the chest like a speeding truck. Some of us are blessed with the ability to step away from the situation and process the information without saying or doing anything until we have come to grips with it. Then again, some of us are not.
When I am confronted with news of impending doom or catastrophic failure of the decision making process by those closest to me, I have a tendency to do two things.
1. Panic.
2. Ask Questions.
I ask the questions to ease the panic. I ask the questions because I am a journalist and that is my nature. Journalists ask questions, not because they are nosey, but rather as a means of clarification and understanding. And I want to understand everything.
So when I ask bluntly if you have been on birth control or using a condom, it is because I want to know how a girl I love with all my heart who never wanted children managed to get pregnant in less than 90 days by a guy she barley knows. When I ask how the expectant father feels about this pregnancy, it is not because I care how this stranger feels, but because I want to know what my sister is up against. And when I ask what the next step for your life will be now that you have come to terms with being pregnant, it is not because I am trying to lead you one way or the other, but rather so that I can prepare myself for the ways that I can help.
Sometimes when you feel as though life has just led you or someone you know done a path of certain destruction, all you can really do is breathe. DEEP BREATHS.
It may take a day or two to accept the information that just sent your world view into a spinning vortex of horror. One thing I have learned (and I am finding I learn more each day) is that you can not change the decisions that are not yours to make. In these situations, all you can do is step back, take a deep breath and accept the unacceptable. Rant to a close friend or family member, take a hot shower, go for a run. Do whatever you have to do to come to terms with what is happening and move forward from that.
Only then will you be happy with the life around you. And that's what it's all about.
Your mother has decided to go off of dialysis and will essentially be ending her life by doing so. What do you say when she informs you of her decision?
After almost 30 years of marriage, your parents have just told you they are filing for divorce. What do you do?
Your baby sister is pregnant by a man she barley knows who is twice her age. How do you react when she breaks the news?
Everyone experiences moments in life where news hits them in the chest like a speeding truck. Some of us are blessed with the ability to step away from the situation and process the information without saying or doing anything until we have come to grips with it. Then again, some of us are not.
When I am confronted with news of impending doom or catastrophic failure of the decision making process by those closest to me, I have a tendency to do two things.
1. Panic.
2. Ask Questions.
I ask the questions to ease the panic. I ask the questions because I am a journalist and that is my nature. Journalists ask questions, not because they are nosey, but rather as a means of clarification and understanding. And I want to understand everything.
So when I ask bluntly if you have been on birth control or using a condom, it is because I want to know how a girl I love with all my heart who never wanted children managed to get pregnant in less than 90 days by a guy she barley knows. When I ask how the expectant father feels about this pregnancy, it is not because I care how this stranger feels, but because I want to know what my sister is up against. And when I ask what the next step for your life will be now that you have come to terms with being pregnant, it is not because I am trying to lead you one way or the other, but rather so that I can prepare myself for the ways that I can help.
Sometimes when you feel as though life has just led you or someone you know done a path of certain destruction, all you can really do is breathe. DEEP BREATHS.
It may take a day or two to accept the information that just sent your world view into a spinning vortex of horror. One thing I have learned (and I am finding I learn more each day) is that you can not change the decisions that are not yours to make. In these situations, all you can do is step back, take a deep breath and accept the unacceptable. Rant to a close friend or family member, take a hot shower, go for a run. Do whatever you have to do to come to terms with what is happening and move forward from that.
Only then will you be happy with the life around you. And that's what it's all about.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
The Follow through...
Belief and action are different animals.
Belief is in the mind, and therefore does not exist. By that I mean, it is not tangible, nor can a stranger on the street possibly have knowledge of its presence.
Example...
I can believe myself to be a kind and generous person that cares for their fellow man and wants to better the world or at least her portion of it. But Billy Bob walking behind me at the mall couldn't possibly know this by the coat I am wearing or by what stores I walk into.
In this way, belief does not exist. While what you believe may have a profound effect on your personal feelings and lifestyle, without action...it simply isn't real.
Action is the proof of belief. If your actions are in line with your beliefs, it will become know by the world outside of yourself.
Example...
I believe myself to be a kind and generous person that cares for their fellow man and wants to better the world or at least her portion of it. By hosting charity auctions, clothing drives and volunteering at the local food bank, these beliefs are made obvious to the rest of my piece of the world.
However, by the very same token, my actions can just as easily disprove my belief.
Example...
I believe I am an athletic, strong and capable adult who is going far in life, but I am unemployed, don't play sports or exercise, and spend most of my time on the couch eating microwavable meals and playing video games. Chances are that the rest of the world around you will disagree with your beliefs. If you were honest with yourself about your situation, you would probably disagree also.
Here's the point. It's about the follow through. You can believe yourself to be whatever it is that you want, but that's not truth. (I can believe I'm an eight foot tall hippopotamus in a pink tutu, but that doesn't make it so.) Belief without action is imagination. Prove to the world that you can embody the things you believe yourself to be. Only with action can it be real.
Belief is in the mind, and therefore does not exist. By that I mean, it is not tangible, nor can a stranger on the street possibly have knowledge of its presence.
Example...
I can believe myself to be a kind and generous person that cares for their fellow man and wants to better the world or at least her portion of it. But Billy Bob walking behind me at the mall couldn't possibly know this by the coat I am wearing or by what stores I walk into.
In this way, belief does not exist. While what you believe may have a profound effect on your personal feelings and lifestyle, without action...it simply isn't real.
Action is the proof of belief. If your actions are in line with your beliefs, it will become know by the world outside of yourself.
Example...
I believe myself to be a kind and generous person that cares for their fellow man and wants to better the world or at least her portion of it. By hosting charity auctions, clothing drives and volunteering at the local food bank, these beliefs are made obvious to the rest of my piece of the world.
However, by the very same token, my actions can just as easily disprove my belief.
Example...I believe I am an athletic, strong and capable adult who is going far in life, but I am unemployed, don't play sports or exercise, and spend most of my time on the couch eating microwavable meals and playing video games. Chances are that the rest of the world around you will disagree with your beliefs. If you were honest with yourself about your situation, you would probably disagree also.
Here's the point. It's about the follow through. You can believe yourself to be whatever it is that you want, but that's not truth. (I can believe I'm an eight foot tall hippopotamus in a pink tutu, but that doesn't make it so.) Belief without action is imagination. Prove to the world that you can embody the things you believe yourself to be. Only with action can it be real.
Christina Perri - The Lonely [Official Lyric Video] (+playlist)
I love the melodies of Christina Perri's music. This is the first time I have heard this particular song of hers, but it is as good as all the others.
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