Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Always Sunny

Guy Number 1: "How are you?"
Guy Number 2: "Fine. You?"

Sound familiar?

It sounds like almost every persons initial conversation with everyone they come into contact with.

But most people that say they are 'fine' don't stop to think about how they are truly feeling.

Fine:   1.  Of the highest quality. (fine wine)
           2.  Choice as in the quality of work. (fine painting)
           3. Consisting of minute particles. (sand)
I could continue, but there would be no point, because none of these describe a feeling or way of being, unless you happen to be a wine or a painting, or a beach.

So when did it become inappropriate to tell others how you are feeling?
It was once considered polite to say one was well, which is more acceptable because it describes a state of health or mind, and although it is a vague response, it would certainly cut it when the conversation is between strangers.

However, suppose it was your mother who inquired as to how you were.  In this situation I don't feel that well is an intimate enough answer.  The closer the relationship with the person, the more honest and forthcoming the answer should be.  Who said we were always supposed to be 'fine' anyway?

I believe that you should always try to be honest with this initial answer.  Suppose you get into a conversation, and you were not fine.  You were in fact ill, grumpy, and tired, and you wind up arguing with the other participant because of this.  It all could have been avoided if you had simply answered the question "How are you" honestly.

This leads us into the power of positive thinking.  I occasionally meet strangers in my line of work and most of them will ask the question.  I always answer with some sort of positive wording that doesn't normally fit with the question.

Fabulous, wonderful, splendid, peachy, ducky, lovely, phenomenal, fantastic, great...or anything else you can think of.  It brightens their day, which in turn brightens mine.

You could also try answers that truly express your mood like devious, playful, angry, mischievous, happy, giddy, disappointed, smug or excited.

The bottom line:____________
Honesty opens the doors of conversation, laughter and sometimes a deeper understanding of the person you are speaking to.  And isn't that the point of asking how someone is in the first place?


  1. I support your blogging efforts <3 Very nice article :)
    Also you were my first friend in a new place!!

    Love Leslie

  2. It is a faced paced world in which we temporarily reside.
    And, alas, it appears that the pace of things may be quickening.
    I think "FINE" for some folks may be the most readily available response at hand to process one task and move handily on to another.
    During those times that this response successfully breaches my single sensitive nerve as being "cold" or lacking any degree of "thoughtfulness" whatsoever, I remind myself what the "FINE" response is actually telling me:
    F - freaked out
    I - insecure
    N - neurotic
    E - emotional